A theme that has emerged for me in the second half of 2019 to present is the importance of being authentic and how much more valuable authenticity actually is versus perfection. As I write this the part of me that desperately wants to look, think, act, write, “therapize” perfectly is having a kiniption.
But the reality is…nobody really appreciates perfection. Have you ever seen or met someone who, for all intents and purposes, appeared to be perfect? Amazing looks, kind-hearted, completed everything on their daily checklist… REALLY think about when you met that person. Were you happy? Feel at peace? The answer is likely a resounding and echoing “NO.” People that are seemingly perfect tend to be off-putting. Sometimes perfection is almost creepy.
A pop-culture example from long ago is the movie, Stepford Wives. In case you missed it, a couple moves to a small, Connecticut town where every wife appears to have it all together. I’m talking “excercising in high heels while the 2.5 perfect angel children play quietly near the homemade pie cooling on the window seel,” level perfect. The erriest thing about the whole movie was these “perfect” women.
I have been thinking about this example a great deal when the perfectionist part of me attempts to run the show. I have been, not perfectly, trying to remind myself that perfection is not only 100% unattainable, it most like is 100% undesirable. The most interesting thing about people tends to be their flaws.
I would argue that most people actually prefer the imperfect people. I invite you to think about this: Who is your favorite celebrity or spokesperson? Or, maybe politician or public speaker? REALLY think about it. My guess is it is someone who is relateable to you. Someone who was maybe an underdog or who did something the public deemed awful but came back, admitted their shortcomings and were vulnerable in the process. THOSE are the people we tend to be drawn to. The REAL people.
I write this blog post in hopes that anyone out there who may also be struggling with not feeling good enough or who feels like they are too far away from being perfect might have a mental shift. You know, it IS possible the thing you feel is your biggest flaw may just be the very thing people like the most about you. Feel free to join me on my imperfect journey on giving up being perfect for being authentic.
In the spirit of authenticity, I will not be proof-reading this blog.
Love and Light,
Dr. G